ComplainerMan

Archive for April, 2010

Pandorum

by admin on Apr.29, 2010, under DVD Movies

Pandorum
Pandorum

I like this version of the Pandorum movie poster. The more popular version shows a man’s arms with various tubes shoved under the skin. That has nothing to do with the movie. The version to the left… well … you can’t tell what the hell is going on. And that is a very accurate represenation of what you will experience when watching this movie. I guess having everything so dark, moving fast, and just visible in flashes, especially early in the movie, was supposed to add to the mystery and suspense, but it ended up just being disorienting. “What the hell was that?” “What just happened?” You’ll figure it out halfway through the movie, but not before paying a price of discomfort and annoyance at the poor execution of cinematographic trickery.

Pandorum is a sci fi, monster, suspense, slasher film. Lots of scary monsters, once you can finally see them, and weird going’s on that you may or may not understand or care about. There’s a bit of a twist towards the end regarding the character played by Dennis Quaid. Had the director put more effort into the story-line and character development, and less into the distracting and confusing camera work and special effects, I may have liked this movie more.  

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Movie Review: Paranormal Entity

by admin on Apr.25, 2010, under DVD Movies

The Blair Witch Project created a monster. Don’t get me wrong. The low budget horror film that started the shakey hand-held footage craze is one of my favorite horror movies. I may have seen “Blair Witch II,” but if so I don’t remember it. The copies of something that was good are never as good as the real thing.

The movie “Paranormal Activity” came out last year (2009). It was basically a lower budget “”Blair Witch,” but in a house. I rented it for Halloween because someone where I work was “freaked out” by the commercial. It sucked.

“Paranormal Entity” doesn’t even pretend to be a movie. It’s just a scam aimed at thouse stupid enough to want to buy “Paranormal Activity.” A certain percentage of those people will buy this movie by mistake. Who cares? Not me.

“Paranormal Entity” is one of those movies that is so bad, from the first line of dialog you know the only way you will enjoy it will be to make fun of it. So we did. It was still a waste of and hour 20 minutes.

What is so bad about the movie? Everything. The set is obviously an unoccupied house with cheap crap thrown in to make it look like a set. It was so ugly that it was probably the most disturbing thing in the movie. The dialog is annoyingly slow and repetetive, as if the actors were making it up as they were going along, and weren’t graced with the quickest wits. I doubt the producer, director or actors cared. They all new they were just part of a scam and were trying to get it over with ASAP. And that’s all of a review this movie deserves.

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