ComplainerMan

You know how some movies are so bad at trying to play their genre that they turn into comedies? Case 39 is a special spin on that. You watch the movie, you reflect on it for a minute, then you start laughing your ass off. This movie was hilarious. You can thank Renee Zellweger for that. Jodelle Ferland is sort of the back-up dancer to Renee’s god-awful, though, since she provides the horror in the movie.

Fundamentals: Renee plays Emily something or other who is a social worker who deals with matters involving children, abusive parents, etc. She encounters the Sullivan family early on in the movie, establishing the bond between her and the “abused” child Lilith Sullivan. The parents wind up trying to kill Lilith, who then plucks Emily’s heartstrings until she petitions for custody. They spend a few days together- OH NO LILITH IS A DEMON oh ho, did I say that out loud? Yeah, it’s pretty obvious. Her transition into psychological predator is fast as can be, leading Emily to regret her decision of taking the evil girl in. But she petitioned for custody, so she’s got to keep her and deal with it.

Now, the thing that bothers/amuses me about this movie is how Emily responds to Lilith’s apparent demonic nature. She begins to behave exactly like the Sullivans did; she both ignores the girl and puts bolts and latches on her own door to keep the naughty lass out (which did nothing, as the viewer later discovers). To make things every more cookie-cutter, Emily starts regurgitating the “I’m not crazy, my adopted child is a demon with magic powers” line to her cop friend. Sadly enough, it works, and they team up against the evil that wears the face of “Lilith Sullivan.”

But not for long. He dies. So does everyone else Emily loves. With all that said and done, she is intimidated into obeying Lilith’s every wish. But since you can’t end a movie like that, Emily decides to drug Little Miss Murder with sleeping pills, despite the fact that her demonic powers extend to mind-reading. Uh, whoops? Then, instead of trying to stab her to death or smother her with a pillow, Emily burns her own house down with Lilith in it. Which doesn’t work. Apparently Lilith can teleport. UH, WHOOPS. So then as they’re driving to the police station, Emily decides to drive to the river, Lilith gives her one final psychological scare based off of her childhood trauma which she overcomes with ease (yawn), then… Wait, what? She drives her car into a river, which seems to actually kill Lilith. What the he- but wait, I thought Lilith could read minds? Couldn’t she teleport? What’s going on here? I’ll tell you what. Magic. Snort snort.

The movie ends with Emily surviving the crash. All of her friends, family, and other loved ones are dead, her house is burned down, and her car is on the bottom of a river because she’s stupid. Makes you feel like doing the jig and throwing confetti. Anyways, I recommend this movie to skeptics who like making fun of movies in hushed voices as they play, and to people who like writing sarcastic reviews.